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Obituary printed in the London Times

Printed From: MiddletownUSA.com
Category: Middletown City Government
Forum Name: City Manager
Forum Description: Discuss the city manager administration including all city departments.
URL: http://www.middletownusa.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=5028
Printed Date: Nov 22 2024 at 5:29am


Topic: Obituary printed in the London Times
Posted By: Vivian Moon
Subject: Obituary printed in the London Times
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 2:55am
Obituary printed in the London Times.....Absolutely Dead Brilliant !!

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense ,who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- And maybe it was my fault.


Common Sense
lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense
lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

He declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense
lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense
took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault

Common Sense
finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense
was preceded in death,
-by his parents, Truth and Trust,
-by his wife, Discretion,
-by his daughter, Responsibility,
-and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;
- I Know My Rights
- I Want It Now
- Someone Else Is To Blame
- I'm A Victim
- Pay me for Doing Nothing

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.




Replies:
Posted By: over the hill
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 10:20am
OMG as the kids say VIV that was PRICELESS


Posted By: Wots
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 9:10pm
May he rest in peace.
He is sorely missed!

-------------
Wots
Liberalism: Moochers Electing Looters to Steal from Producers.



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