I'm From the Government and I'm here to help
Printed From: MiddletownUSA.com
Category: Middletown Community
Forum Name: Middletown News, Info and Happenings
Forum Description: Discuss any Middletown Ohio area news story.
URL: http://www.middletownusa.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=1687
Printed Date: Nov 22 2024 at 4:22am
Topic: I'm From the Government and I'm here to help
Posted By: Middletown News
Subject: I'm From the Government and I'm here to help
Date Posted: Aug 05 2009 at 3:47pm
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his CingularRAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans th area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany.
Within seconds, he receives an email on hisPalm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech,
miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or 'bout cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep. ...
Now give me back my dog.
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Replies:
Posted By: Merrell Wood
Date Posted: Aug 07 2009 at 7:18am
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I've heard enough to want to hear more about "Moving Middletown Forward." organization. Whatever it's mission is perceived to be concerning the upcoming vote on city charter related issues, somebody please post on this forum. I don't mean rumors, I mean something that one can take to the bank.
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Posted By: spiderjohn
Date Posted: Aug 07 2009 at 8:50am
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Mr.Wood--u might go directly to Mr.Presta,Mr.Nagy or the gentleman that initially posted on the infanous mission statement/recruitment document.
No rumors--hard copy available of what was posted here.
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