Merrell Wood: Civility

Merrell Wood: What happened to civility?

When I grew up, if someone did something nice, I was taught to acknowledge their effort with a “thank you.” The same was true about remembering to say “you’re welcome” when they acknowledged something nice I did for them.
However, over the years, much has changed. Today’s most common reply to “thank you” is either nothing, “uh huh,” or “no problem.” I’m not sure what the last one means but I would guess it’s something like “it wasn’t too inconvenient to do that for you.”
If the recent display of one artist’s disrespect for another at the Video Music Awards or the loss of professional discipline by a competitor at the U.S. Open women’s tennis finals is any indicator of how well we control our personal behavior, it may be time for a reassessment of our conduct with each other.
I’m not claiming that a lack of manners will soon bring down civilization, but it does have something to do with demonstrating civility with our fellow man.
What does treating people with respect have to do with civility? It’s the concept of decency and maturity that many of us too often leave behind in the public domain, not to mention the private.
Another factor in the decline of public dialogue may stem from the great variety of options we have to communicate with each other. Not only by cell phone, but on the Internet with MySpace, Facebook and my favorite, Twitter.
During the past decade, as our use of the Internet has exploded, so has the ability for anyone to “blog” anonymously. For example, at the end of this column, you can “sound off” about its content — good, bad or ugly — and, if you prefer, no one will ever know who you are. It’s quite an empowering notion.
Beyond the Internet’s unique benefit to our society, or as a handy tool to attack someone, it also affords us the ability to immerse ourselves in anonymous “discussion” without ever encountering a differing opinion. After reading something particularly partisan, it’s easy to convince myself that my way of thinking is the only one that any intelligent person could reasonably believe.
From there, it’s a simple leap to the notion that anyone who disagrees with me is an idiot and I’m justified in hurling insults, rather than engaging in conversation and considering their position.
On a similar note, the expansive and divergent nature of our talk radio and television news sources allow people of all political persuasions to immerse themselves in an ocean of like-minded reporting and analysis. A diffused media is a double-edged sword: It permits more viewpoints to be heard, but it also fosters polarization, since it enables people to get their news primarily from sources that share their beliefs. This selective saturation of information leaves us convinced that we are right and incredulous at the notion that others do not see the world as we do; hence the angry polarization of our nation’s political conversation.
Last but not least is the rise of reality TV, where all too often the participants recognize no boundaries. They’re encouraged to say whatever comes to their minds and be as sensational as possible to keep the audience involved. That form of behavior often translates into viewers acting in the same fashion and example begets example. People become more comfortable being aggressive, rude and “in your face.” Unfortunately, this behavior easily can carry over into everyday life, and many would say our national calling card has become aggression. It may be effective on an individual basis, but disastrous to the life of the community upon which individual survival and prosperity ultimately rest.
How can we change this situation? The solution is obvious. It means “doing unto others as you would have done unto you.” Ever heard that before? I know it’s a cliché, but it works.
It means understanding that educating our children is perhaps the most important job in the world, and that those who undertake this task must undertake it to the best of their ability.
It means wanting to be of service, not only to yourself and your family, but to your community and nation as a whole.
It means wanting unity and harmony to prevail, knowing that disunity and strife are not the answers. It’s really simple if we take just a moment to think about it.
Merrell Wood is the founder of Middletown Habitat for Humanity, TV Middletown and the Sink Or Swim pool campaign.

It is the culmination of the "Me" generation which is rooted in Dr Spock's nonsensical Book of nearly 50 years ago.

I saw it front and center at AK when the new Hires (most often younger people) seemed to have a really hard time taking orders. They always wanted to know "why?''. "Because I said so" was my reply  most times. They would actually think that in 30 days they had a very complicated process figured out and I should stay listening to them. Well, I wasn't able to listen to them and maybe get someone killed, so most of the time I just hurt their feelings.I had kids of similar age at home but never had to deal with such disrespect as I was a "mean" Dad.

And Damn proud of it!

Vet

Agree Hermes- there are residuals beside correcting "misguided" attitudes. It also teaches one organizational skills and making decisions on your own without relying on mommy and daddy taking care of things for you and teaches the repercussions of making bad decisions/ rewards of making good decisions. If they stay in long enough, they may even be trained and get experience in a career field that can be put to use after they leave the military. Doesn't sound like a bad idea to me. Alot of good points and few negatives and the country keeps a rotating stock of personnel to man the branches of the service on an on-going basis. The Russians do this, don't they? How about the Chinese? Won't hurt a thing other than delaying those who want to jump directly from high school to college. Could mean a two year delay there although the government could offer some tuition assistance for that two years of service to cushion the delay.